Friday, January 27, 2012

Sucker Punch

       I have been struggling with my latest post for several weeks.   It was a story about Sophia. You see, Sophia, has picked up cursing as a pastime.  Over the past few months, she has called me every imaginable curse word.   As I began to write about this new cursing behavior I struggled with a few things.  How do I put all these curse words on paper without being offensive?   How do I explain this latest behavior as it relates to her disability?  Whatever I wrote just didn't feel right.  I couldn't seem to put into words how Sophia's anxiety "made" her so edgy that she cursed, explain where she could have possibly picked up those curse words, explain how she learned to use them in context, and how I handled situations like the time she called me a mother f'er in public.  As I typed, the paragraphs became longer and longer and as I re-read my words I knew I didn't clearly explain this new behavior.  Suffice it to say then, that Sophia curses because of anxiety.   Sophia has picked up most of these words at school and I still have no clue how to handle this behavior other than trying to ignore her and redirect.  It's true, when I tell my sisters stories about Sophia's cursing it's difficult not to laugh.  Imagine, the morning that Sophia was worried about a test at school.  She woke up calling me a "Piece of S*it" and then proceeded to ask if I wanted a "B*tch slap."  Really?  At 6:30 in the morning that is NOT what I wanted to hear!  My sisters and I laughed because I had to google B*tch slap" to be sure I knew what she was talking about.  According to the Urban Dictionary it means "to open handedley slap someone. Denote disrespect for the person being bitch slapped as they are not worthy of a man sized punch."  My question to whomever is using the words B*tch slap at school, "Why not just say sucker punch."  That I can handle.

       On Wednesday, Sophia celebrated her 13th birthday!  Sophia is still a die hard, Justin Beiber and Jonas Brothers Fan.  For days leading  up to her birthday she hoped that Justin Beiber or the Jonas Brothers would send her something in the mail.  Lo and behold on her birthday, she got two cards in the mail.  One was a singing card that had a Jonas Brothers song recorded and one was a letter we wrote from Justin Beiber.
Is it right that we feed into her Beiber Fever or her obsession with the Jonas Brothers?  Perhaps not to some people however,  in every letter we have written from "them" there is a lesson for Sophia.  Of course, the lesson of the month has been to use kind words.  And as you can see in the video of me reading the fake Justin Beiber letter, it worked for the moment. 
       In the end, I guess I didn't need to litter my blog with nasty curse words to tell my story.  All kids go through peaks and valleys it just so happens that Sophia is stuck in a deep valley at the moment.  We are working our way out (one curse word at a time) and soon she will move on from cursing to a new behavior for us to tackle.  That is life with kids, disability or not, we'll just keep moving forward.  I'd like to quote myself . Can I do that?  "My children have taught me more about life, love and compassion than anyone or anything ever could" and now I can add that Sophia taught me the fine art of cursing. 

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there. I am also having trouble dealing with my partner's lagophthalmos. It has been tough but I remind myself why I endure.