I Am Like You In So Many Ways: Recognizing World Autism Awareness Day

I told you it was a busy week.  I haven't had much to write about the past few weeks and now, three posts in two days. 

On Friday, the Catholic School Mary and Thomas attend celebrated Autism Awareness Day. During an assembly four kids got up to talk about their experience with autism.  Two of the children talked about how it feels to have Asperger's and Mary and her friend talked about having siblings with autism. The 300 students were the quietest and most attentive I have experienced.   All the speeches were written from the heart and talked about the need for acceptance and understanding.  (Amen to that!) Both the kids that talked about their own diagnosis each talked about how they may think and learn differently but they also enjoy so many of the things that their non-Asperger's friends enjoy. "I am like you in many ways", said one child.   It was very impressive to hear these young kids (age 8 and 10) talk about their Asperger's  and how aware they are of their struggles.  One statement really stood out from one young boy.  He said, "If God had wanted me another way, He would have created me that way."  How beautiful.  In my own life, I know that all my children, the ones with Fragile X and the ones without, WILL change the face of Autism and Intellectual Disabilities in the future.  Our openness with the kids' diagnosis will help people be more accepting and understanding and Thomas and Mary's everyday experiences have already profoundly shaped their lives.

Below is a copy of Mary's speech.

My name is Mary Parker.

My brother Thomas and I have 2 brothers and 1 sister with Autism.

 I would like you to know that my brothers and sisters and all people with autism are smart in their own special way.  They are fun to be around and they like things just like you and me like Sponge Bob, iCarly, Justin Beiber, basketball and soccer.  A lot of people with autism don’t talk as well as you and me and they are very shy but they still like to have friends.

 My brothers and sister get worried about a lot of things and they are afraid to go into loud crowded places like Hershey Bears games and HersheyPark.  Their autism causes them to be afraid and worried about things that we think are usually fun.  We have to be patient and tell them just take a deep breath.  We usually bring earphones so they could feel a little better but what really calms them down is pressure on their body.  They have a very heavy blanket at school just in case they get nervous.  When we are in public like HersheyPark and they get nervous we usually have a stress ball or we just squeeze their hand. The same at home with homework.

 Every week we go to therapeutic horseback riding.  It is very calming for them.  One time my little brother was so relaxed he fell asleep on the horse.  Every week we also go to Special Olympics swimming and gymnastics.  We have lots of friends at Special Olympics.

And remember you always should treat people with autism the same as you treat your best friend. 

Of course, Mary's speech was perfect.  I helped her a little but the majority were her own words.  Mary surprised me with her insight into the weighted blankets and squeezes the kids need to remain calm.  To say I am proud of her is an understatement.  Mary you never cease to amaze me with your compassion and understanding.  You will move mountains for your brothers and sister. 

Sure thing, Sweetie!

It was a busy week in the Parker Household.  In addition to the usual soccer practices, Special Olympics training, school and homework we welcomed an honored guest to our home for dinner and celebrated National Autism Awareness Day.  As most parents do, we talked to the kids about manners and good behavior.  We prepared Jacob, Sophia and Liam to the change in our Monday evening routine by telling them we were having a dinner party with some very special people.  Well, the mention of a "party" was all my kids needed to get excited.  We neglected to tell them there would be no birthday cake involved though.  If you know anything about the Parker kids you can imagine that the evening had a few memorable moments.

Our guest was the Honorable Bishop Joseph McFadden of the Diocese of Harrisburg.  The kids were so excited when the Bishop arrived.  "The Bishop is here!  The Bishop is here!" they yelled.  In all there was Bishop McFadden, two other priests and three other friends who attended.  I'm not sure if the kids were more excited for the guests or the fact that we were having a party and they could drink out of wine glasses! Jacob was nervous and ran upstairs to hide when the guests arrived.  Liam had to be pulled away from his computer to say hello (there was going to be no disruption of Liam's routine if he could help it).  Thomas, Mary and Sophia all greeted the guests at the front door.  Sophia was very nervous about the arrival of the guests but she did not run and hide.  She stood nicely in the hallway, eyes firmly fixated on the floor, nervously wringing her hands and breathing heavily.  Despite all the signs of anxiety that Sophia was sending out she knew that the "right" thing to do was to greet the guests with a handshake and a nice hello.  All those years of having to teach Sophia appropriate social skills was paying off!  So, there was Sophia and I standing in front of one of our guests.  Sophia extends her hand for a handshake and in one long run-on muffled sentence Sophia says, "Hello, my name is Sophia Parker.  I am in the 6th grade at Palmyra Middle School and my mom snores at night."  Showing no signs of embarrassment, I calmly respond, "Well Sophia, lots of mommies snore and remember, some things are private."  We all laughed.  My heart goes out to Sophia because there have been many situations where she tries to "fit into" the conversation and she says something amiss.  She knew she had to say something about herself and then in her nervousness added something nice about her mother too.  Sophia can certainly "fit in" but then a side of her disability always seems to show up.  Well, something to keep working on.  Sophia was wearing her Justin Beiber tshirt and was super excited that Bishop McFadden actually knew who Justin Beiber was.  I was impressed too. 

Jacob finally made it down the stairs and sat at the table to eat.  He engaged in eye contact and laughter with the woman across the table.  After the twentieth time he wanted to toast her with his wine glass (within 10 minutes of sitting down) I had to ask him to stop and eat.   Jacob was so happy that he was hand flapping and growling and wasn't really interested in eating.  Toasting his glass...yes!  It was time for dessert and Mary and Jacob helped serve.  Jacob asked each person if they wanted coffee and even if they said no he said, "OK" and gave them a coffee cup anyway.  You see, we told him to give everyone a coffee cup and he was doing exactly as we had requested.  He asked the Bishop if he wanted a cup and he said yes to which Jacob replied, "Sure thing Sweetie!"    Next, he and Mary handed out the dessert.  We were amazed at what a big help Jacob was.  He helped clear the entire table and served the coffee and dessert with such manners. 

On a typical night when Liam gets tired he will come and tell me he is ready for bed. I simply tell him to go get his pajamas.  Liam will get his pajamas and bring them to me to put on.  Well, on this special night, Liam came and told me he was ready for bed.  As always, I told him to get his pajamas.  Imagine my surprise when he arrived at the dinner table totally naked with his pajamas in hand!  Thank goodness I was quick enough to whisk him away so that no one saw him!  I pulled off one of those quick "mom moves."  No one noticed a thing....

     We had a great dinner and great conversation.  Everyone laughed when we told the story of how when Thomas was eight years old he said he wanted to be a priest.  When we told Thomas he would have to go to Mass everyday he changed his mind and said he wanted to be a clown instead.

     As you can clearly see, the evening went off without a hitch....  The only thing we forgot was to get a photo of the Bishop with the kids. I managed to remember to take a photo of the place setting and a few days after the dinner, I noticed a picture of the Bishop on Thomas' phone.  As you can see, he secretly snapped a photo to share with his friends.  His text message to his friends read "See the Bishop is at my house for dinner." 

     We were honored to have our Bishop dining at our house.  More than having a delicious meal we were excited for him to meet all of our children.   I was a bit tired by the end of the evening.  I certainly slept well that night. And if you ask Sophia, I probably snored too.

A Tough Day for Thomas and Mary

Yesterday at Thomas and Mary's bus stop one of Thomas' classmates was hit by a car as he crossed the street.  He suffered a broken leg and will be okay however, all the kids were understandably very shaken. 

When Thomas and Mary got home they were visibly upset and crying.  Thomas did not witness the accident and Mary only saw a little but the chaos that ensued created so much fear.  All Mary remembered seeing was the boy laying on the ground not moving.  Thomas is a good friend of the boy and he was assuming the worst too.  We found out at about 5PM that the boy only had a broken leg and would be okay.  When I told Thomas and Mary the news you could see a huge weight lifted off their shoulders. 

It was unbelievable how quickly word spread about the accident.  Someone called me within 5 minutes and all Thomas' friends were texting each other about it within minutes.  I had never experienced the power texting getting information around so quickly before and it was pretty impressive. 

Within minutes of their friend being hit by a car, all the children from St. Joan of Arc that were at the bus stop gathered in a circle of prayer for their friend.  In the midst of all the chaos and fear our children turned to God and the power of prayer to help.